Today the Internet are introduced people of all ages - teenagers and people in the age. Aims at all different - someone wants to find a new friend, someone true love, intimacy, and someone else and "sponsor" in the person of the rich men of any age.
But not always so neserezen result of virtual relationships, online dating services. Often people get married after the virtual relations are good friends, or a lifetime remembering their online novels.
Speaking of marriage, today is really a lot of girls who have lost hope of finding a life partner, go to Internet sites, where the photographs are looking for a future husband.
Nevertheless, we should not lose his head when he saw a beautiful picture of a guy and immediately fall in love with him, introducing him as his ideal. After all, what guarantee is there that this person has sent you is your picture in singles, not your friend, or worse, just worked a bit in Photoshop.
If it does you are lucky, and he was honest, get his phone number so you can chat with them live, because then it will be about a lot more to learn than on the Internet - about his character, intelligence, etc.
If all goes well, then these people either continue to meet and enter into a marriage, or become friends, or go away and never meet.
Often also the case that online dating did not last more than a few hours or days to as long as someone does not disappear from the network. It is accepted among adolescents who are not looking at this form of dating nothing serious and do it just for fun.
Many learn to go once or twice somewhere together and gain new experiences.
Of course, there are those who are willing to tolerate totally unsuitable for their rights, in accordance with its mercantile interests, such as finding your business partner, sponsor or just the rich papa, who will pay for your every whim. At this bait most often come across rich foreigners who fall in love with the beautiful appearance of the girl, perform any of her wishes.
If a girl wants to meet with a foreigner, her first of all, you need to know the language of his country, although at a conversational level. And if, after several meetings, contact was established, and he invites you to come visit - you should stop, because in a foreign country, you can feel in danger. It is better to invite him to his guests.
If you do go into another country, should stay in a hotel or with friends. If relations are developing very rapidly and you have already offered his hand and heart, is, of course, agree, but not too quickly. You should get to know this man and not be guided exclusively by thoughts of a luxurious and rich existence that is not always the main thing.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Why and how we fall in love
Believe in love, you want - no, but when it falls on us, we are not always ready to meet this feeling.
In the women's companies typically discuss what feelings experienced ladies and how to develop their relations with the "knights". The men - a different topic: who is better - blondes or brunettes, or hudyshki pyshechki. Girls generously each other advice, but the boys prefer to solve personal problems with a good portion of alcohol. Meanwhile, scientists discovered that the biological component of love underestimated. We have no control over their desires and emotions in the sphere of love and sex. Experts say: very much determined by our genes, and the mechanism of genetic selection works even when not thinking acquire heirs, and intent only to have fun.
Fact 1. We fell in love with equal and better. The determining factor, as a rule, is similar: the role of Romeo in favor man, approximately equal to the level of education and intellect, social status, income, etc. When we see a potential candidate in the subconscious runs the program, to evaluate it for each criterion. The man also looks for the second half a little better myself. Each of us need a companion, a rich, strong and beautiful. Love - is always a compromise, and we never get an exact match with the ideal. Have to put up with disadvantages and disabilities elect. Love and love invented by nature to keep us from the constant change of partners every time as soon as the applicant a little better, prettier, smarter, younger and sexier. Love forgives, and this compromise is hidden deep biological, evolutionary sense.
Fact 2. Women tend to change partners.
She subconsciously looking for a man who will be able to create the best environment for their offspring, so it may show favor to the material security, social success to representatives of the stronger sex.
As a weighty argument in favor of treason experts nominated genetically due to the desire to hedge against the possible infertility partner. Few of the modern, smart women understand this. Men's betrayal has other roots: a man is genetically programmed to fertilization as many women to pass their genes to the maximum number of strong offspring. One serving of a healthy adult male ejaculate contains a large quantity of sperm - 150-180 million So nature increases the chances of the representative to break it to this woman.
Fact 3. Love - a special state of consciousness.
Love and love have similarities with mild nervous breakdown - in the brain experiencing similar changes. That is why we often check the mail, telephone, waiting for messages from a loved one. Approximately how it feels man with obsessive-compulsive who has not performed the usual ritual. Very difficult to resist: love is due to biochemical processes and of our will is almost independent. In love with an excess of dopamine is produced, so they feel fabulous tidal energy, specific power and inspiration, which translate into poetry, and sometimes colossal stupidity.
Doctors believe that this condition is similar to mild hypomania. In the body formed by a lot of adrenaline and noradrenaline and, as a consequence, in addition to insomnia and the rise of energy appear excitement, anxiety, palpitations and trembling limbs at the sight of a loved one, the sound of his voice, and at any news of him. Increasing the number of serotonin - because we have become incredibly talkative and love the whole world. But the state of love goes rather quickly, within a few weeks or months. It starts with the stage of stability, when the attachment is deeper and more tender. People call it a feeling of true love.
There is another variant of first love: partners who lived through the period of fever of love and madness, break up. Crises await even those who translated the relationship to a new level. Experts believe that if the couple during the first 1,5-3 years has not made a formal alliance, no proper children, joint property, did not come to a stable lifestyle with elaborated common habits and interests, the likelihood that these people are, at the end all, tell each other goodbye, very loud.
From the problems and divorce during later life, nobody is safe, most crisis - the first 1-3 years.
Fact 4. We choose each other by smell.
Attraction to a particular person is determined by the smell of his body, the so-called pheromones, produced by special glands in the axillary and inguinal basins. The smell is very faint and not detected by the consciousness, so do not confuse it with the smell of sweat produced by the same sweat glands. Nevertheless, the subconscious picks up well and appreciates pheromones, whose output depends on the person's general health, his libido and the mental state. Therefore, the subconscious is to take away "the smell" of the sexual, strong, healthy, not tired, not depressed, the younger partner.
The complex aromatic molecules have specificity depending on the type of appearance, race. This explains the fact that some "fanateyut" from blondes, and others - from the red, a color like blue eyes, and others - brown, etc. And men pay attention to the skin, women, figure, hair and teeth. This genetic indicators fermentilnosti - the ability to produce healthy offspring. Course, to explain individual tastes just the smell of the body would be too crude a simplification. Our preferences are, and socio-psychological basis: the first successful experience of love was just a blonde or a dark-haired blue-eyed. But the role of pheromones not be underestimated. They are important in shaping our stereotypical image of an ideal partner and contribute to the delicate feelings.
Fact 5. You can fall in love and in a random partner. Why do we fall in love in the people with whom nothing serious had planned? The biological reason for this is simple - the release of large quantities of the hormone oxytocin is capable of inducing the passion and start the further process of love. This nature has created a clever mechanism to ensure that we held tight to the man who brought the sexual pleasure for those who can "have sex".
The wisdom of nature is that man who is good in bed, and physically healthy, has high fertility and can be a caring father. People who have thrown out a lot during the orgasm oxytocin, particularly susceptible, as often lose their heads after accidental contact. Elevated levels of this hormone in the blood of women leads to a more vivid sex and at the same time - to an unhappy love affair on the grounds of disposable relationships.
However, these women cope with problems in a stable relationship, of course, if they succeed they build.
In the women's companies typically discuss what feelings experienced ladies and how to develop their relations with the "knights". The men - a different topic: who is better - blondes or brunettes, or hudyshki pyshechki. Girls generously each other advice, but the boys prefer to solve personal problems with a good portion of alcohol. Meanwhile, scientists discovered that the biological component of love underestimated. We have no control over their desires and emotions in the sphere of love and sex. Experts say: very much determined by our genes, and the mechanism of genetic selection works even when not thinking acquire heirs, and intent only to have fun.
Fact 1. We fell in love with equal and better. The determining factor, as a rule, is similar: the role of Romeo in favor man, approximately equal to the level of education and intellect, social status, income, etc. When we see a potential candidate in the subconscious runs the program, to evaluate it for each criterion. The man also looks for the second half a little better myself. Each of us need a companion, a rich, strong and beautiful. Love - is always a compromise, and we never get an exact match with the ideal. Have to put up with disadvantages and disabilities elect. Love and love invented by nature to keep us from the constant change of partners every time as soon as the applicant a little better, prettier, smarter, younger and sexier. Love forgives, and this compromise is hidden deep biological, evolutionary sense.
Fact 2. Women tend to change partners.
She subconsciously looking for a man who will be able to create the best environment for their offspring, so it may show favor to the material security, social success to representatives of the stronger sex.
As a weighty argument in favor of treason experts nominated genetically due to the desire to hedge against the possible infertility partner. Few of the modern, smart women understand this. Men's betrayal has other roots: a man is genetically programmed to fertilization as many women to pass their genes to the maximum number of strong offspring. One serving of a healthy adult male ejaculate contains a large quantity of sperm - 150-180 million So nature increases the chances of the representative to break it to this woman.
Fact 3. Love - a special state of consciousness.
Love and love have similarities with mild nervous breakdown - in the brain experiencing similar changes. That is why we often check the mail, telephone, waiting for messages from a loved one. Approximately how it feels man with obsessive-compulsive who has not performed the usual ritual. Very difficult to resist: love is due to biochemical processes and of our will is almost independent. In love with an excess of dopamine is produced, so they feel fabulous tidal energy, specific power and inspiration, which translate into poetry, and sometimes colossal stupidity.
Doctors believe that this condition is similar to mild hypomania. In the body formed by a lot of adrenaline and noradrenaline and, as a consequence, in addition to insomnia and the rise of energy appear excitement, anxiety, palpitations and trembling limbs at the sight of a loved one, the sound of his voice, and at any news of him. Increasing the number of serotonin - because we have become incredibly talkative and love the whole world. But the state of love goes rather quickly, within a few weeks or months. It starts with the stage of stability, when the attachment is deeper and more tender. People call it a feeling of true love.
There is another variant of first love: partners who lived through the period of fever of love and madness, break up. Crises await even those who translated the relationship to a new level. Experts believe that if the couple during the first 1,5-3 years has not made a formal alliance, no proper children, joint property, did not come to a stable lifestyle with elaborated common habits and interests, the likelihood that these people are, at the end all, tell each other goodbye, very loud.
From the problems and divorce during later life, nobody is safe, most crisis - the first 1-3 years.
Fact 4. We choose each other by smell.
Attraction to a particular person is determined by the smell of his body, the so-called pheromones, produced by special glands in the axillary and inguinal basins. The smell is very faint and not detected by the consciousness, so do not confuse it with the smell of sweat produced by the same sweat glands. Nevertheless, the subconscious picks up well and appreciates pheromones, whose output depends on the person's general health, his libido and the mental state. Therefore, the subconscious is to take away "the smell" of the sexual, strong, healthy, not tired, not depressed, the younger partner.
The complex aromatic molecules have specificity depending on the type of appearance, race. This explains the fact that some "fanateyut" from blondes, and others - from the red, a color like blue eyes, and others - brown, etc. And men pay attention to the skin, women, figure, hair and teeth. This genetic indicators fermentilnosti - the ability to produce healthy offspring. Course, to explain individual tastes just the smell of the body would be too crude a simplification. Our preferences are, and socio-psychological basis: the first successful experience of love was just a blonde or a dark-haired blue-eyed. But the role of pheromones not be underestimated. They are important in shaping our stereotypical image of an ideal partner and contribute to the delicate feelings.
Fact 5. You can fall in love and in a random partner. Why do we fall in love in the people with whom nothing serious had planned? The biological reason for this is simple - the release of large quantities of the hormone oxytocin is capable of inducing the passion and start the further process of love. This nature has created a clever mechanism to ensure that we held tight to the man who brought the sexual pleasure for those who can "have sex".
The wisdom of nature is that man who is good in bed, and physically healthy, has high fertility and can be a caring father. People who have thrown out a lot during the orgasm oxytocin, particularly susceptible, as often lose their heads after accidental contact. Elevated levels of this hormone in the blood of women leads to a more vivid sex and at the same time - to an unhappy love affair on the grounds of disposable relationships.
However, these women cope with problems in a stable relationship, of course, if they succeed they build.
Sex: listening and speaking
It is important to choose the right time - for the first call, especially. Not to work, not after, not the way to the store or before the arrival of guests. We often talk about important things like the way and at a time when the initially clear that discuss them once. So we try to hide his embarrassment, and the extent to which this topic is important for us. And while some questions can indeed be resolved between the business, often a way of feeding, unfortunately, leads to the opposite: an important question hangs in the air, and return to it is even more difficult, or it develops into a painful conversation in the wrong place.
Comfortable communication requires solitude, so always choose a calm environment where you both have enough time and no one bothers. For example, rest after dinner - the right moment. In some cases, the ideal place is the bed, though sometimes her emotional situation just yet complicates communication.
In the bed is safe to say pleasant, but if you intend to raise less than optimistic feelings, try to talk about them before the act (act differently and may not be) and not immediately after (as in the phase of resolution, following the orgasm, the majority Men have an insurmountable urge to sleep).
Many couples practice talking about sex during sex, but to call these replicas can not even be a full-fledged conversation with a very big stretch. They certainly contribute to the optimization process, but they are not enough.
If you have no way to determine where and when to begin, the sooner you simply diverts the conversation. If you start talking, but your partner says, "is not the time" (perhaps now he is really uncomfortable talking about it, but he may be shy as shy and you) - politely (and gently!) Ask explain the reason for the refusal to make an appointment when you return to this subject.
Do not expect a partner for such an important matter immediately changed his plans and will meet you at once: a delicate conversation to organically integrate into everyday life, not to break it and be dramatic. And as it may seem difficult to question, discuss it as soon as possible. Then, when such conversations will be to your usual pair, the choice of time and space cease to be a particular problem. If it is very difficult to start ...
Confusion in the conversation "about this" first completely natural. Do not try to hide it, especially under the alluvial bravado or external self-confidence - so you can spoil everything for a long time. Better to recognize the partner that you are at a loss what to say to you about this difficult, but you understand that it is very important to both of you, and hope that the partner will support you.
Do not shun art erotic editions - reviews, books, movies. They are, contrary to popular misconception, not to teach "do it right (" right "- is all that is like both), but in order to help you get rid of unnecessary embarrassment and irrational taboos. With the help of such publications is very convenient to begin a difficult conversation.
For example, the arm photo album or movie that you liked more than others (or give it to her husband at any nearest holiday), and without further ado, say: "I've been thinking ... and why, actually, we do not talk to you about sex? It is such a wonderful lesson. I want you here something to show ... " Do not be afraid that he would ask awkward questions or you need to give some complicated explanation of his act: sex between loving people is valuable, it needs no justification. Moreover, sometimes such a "horse course" is probably the only way to break a dam shame - careful preparation can be delayed so that the start of "new life" will become delayed and delayed, because you would think that some of you to Innovation is not ready.
To engage in conversation, do not ask for words from a partner and ask him to listen carefully to you. This will help him get rid of the feeling that it to something forced.
It is necessary to induce him to talk, but can not compel. A wise woman knows how to reveal his soul and to share feelings, not insisting that her lover did the same thing.
If your partner is sandwiched and bound, help him: first, tell us about their feelings (for the first time - on the positive and soon, when you both are comfortable with this theme, say can and must be about the whole spectrum of experiences), then gently ask that he experienced . Must Hear him, but do not insist on a detailed answer: "Yes - no - I do not know" - enough to start.
If your partner is laconic, from time to time try to be quiet and you: "active" and "passive" role should rotate - not only in bed, but also in speech communication.
Emphasize that are important to you his wishes (and it should not be hypocrisy, but they really should be important to you). They, incidentally, may be very different from yours, but it has to have the same right as you are - on their own. Partners to take into account your interests, you should consider it - other ways of achieving intimacy in a pair of no. Little by little, and a partner will open to meet you, feeling that you accept him for what he is. In sexual relations more than any other, is important for reciprocity - is crucial principle "and I feel good, and you feel good."
If you initiate and enter into the habit of discussing their intimate relationships simple human language, your partner will certainly be grateful. But it is also likely at first he will feel embarrassed. Perhaps even the first conversation was not very successful. Do not get discouraged and give up. Sometimes the most intimate feelings of women include men need some time to move away.
If so happens, you just need to wait some time until he mastered with such intimacy. The moment when both partners overcome their embarrassment, often feels like a breakthrough - once becomes easier.
Comfortable communication requires solitude, so always choose a calm environment where you both have enough time and no one bothers. For example, rest after dinner - the right moment. In some cases, the ideal place is the bed, though sometimes her emotional situation just yet complicates communication.
In the bed is safe to say pleasant, but if you intend to raise less than optimistic feelings, try to talk about them before the act (act differently and may not be) and not immediately after (as in the phase of resolution, following the orgasm, the majority Men have an insurmountable urge to sleep).
Many couples practice talking about sex during sex, but to call these replicas can not even be a full-fledged conversation with a very big stretch. They certainly contribute to the optimization process, but they are not enough.
If you have no way to determine where and when to begin, the sooner you simply diverts the conversation. If you start talking, but your partner says, "is not the time" (perhaps now he is really uncomfortable talking about it, but he may be shy as shy and you) - politely (and gently!) Ask explain the reason for the refusal to make an appointment when you return to this subject.
Do not expect a partner for such an important matter immediately changed his plans and will meet you at once: a delicate conversation to organically integrate into everyday life, not to break it and be dramatic. And as it may seem difficult to question, discuss it as soon as possible. Then, when such conversations will be to your usual pair, the choice of time and space cease to be a particular problem. If it is very difficult to start ...
Confusion in the conversation "about this" first completely natural. Do not try to hide it, especially under the alluvial bravado or external self-confidence - so you can spoil everything for a long time. Better to recognize the partner that you are at a loss what to say to you about this difficult, but you understand that it is very important to both of you, and hope that the partner will support you.
Do not shun art erotic editions - reviews, books, movies. They are, contrary to popular misconception, not to teach "do it right (" right "- is all that is like both), but in order to help you get rid of unnecessary embarrassment and irrational taboos. With the help of such publications is very convenient to begin a difficult conversation.
For example, the arm photo album or movie that you liked more than others (or give it to her husband at any nearest holiday), and without further ado, say: "I've been thinking ... and why, actually, we do not talk to you about sex? It is such a wonderful lesson. I want you here something to show ... " Do not be afraid that he would ask awkward questions or you need to give some complicated explanation of his act: sex between loving people is valuable, it needs no justification. Moreover, sometimes such a "horse course" is probably the only way to break a dam shame - careful preparation can be delayed so that the start of "new life" will become delayed and delayed, because you would think that some of you to Innovation is not ready.
To engage in conversation, do not ask for words from a partner and ask him to listen carefully to you. This will help him get rid of the feeling that it to something forced.
It is necessary to induce him to talk, but can not compel. A wise woman knows how to reveal his soul and to share feelings, not insisting that her lover did the same thing.
If your partner is sandwiched and bound, help him: first, tell us about their feelings (for the first time - on the positive and soon, when you both are comfortable with this theme, say can and must be about the whole spectrum of experiences), then gently ask that he experienced . Must Hear him, but do not insist on a detailed answer: "Yes - no - I do not know" - enough to start.
If your partner is laconic, from time to time try to be quiet and you: "active" and "passive" role should rotate - not only in bed, but also in speech communication.
Emphasize that are important to you his wishes (and it should not be hypocrisy, but they really should be important to you). They, incidentally, may be very different from yours, but it has to have the same right as you are - on their own. Partners to take into account your interests, you should consider it - other ways of achieving intimacy in a pair of no. Little by little, and a partner will open to meet you, feeling that you accept him for what he is. In sexual relations more than any other, is important for reciprocity - is crucial principle "and I feel good, and you feel good."
If you initiate and enter into the habit of discussing their intimate relationships simple human language, your partner will certainly be grateful. But it is also likely at first he will feel embarrassed. Perhaps even the first conversation was not very successful. Do not get discouraged and give up. Sometimes the most intimate feelings of women include men need some time to move away.
If so happens, you just need to wait some time until he mastered with such intimacy. The moment when both partners overcome their embarrassment, often feels like a breakthrough - once becomes easier.
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