Sex: listening and speaking

It is important to choose the right time - for the first call, especially. Not to work, not after, not the way to the store or before the arrival of guests. We often talk about important things like the way and at a time when the initially clear that discuss them once. So we try to hide his embarrassment, and the extent to which this topic is important for us. And while some questions can indeed be resolved between the business, often a way of feeding, unfortunately, leads to the opposite: an important question hangs in the air, and return to it is even more difficult, or it develops into a painful conversation in the wrong place.



Comfortable communication requires solitude, so always choose a calm environment where you both have enough time and no one bothers. For example, rest after dinner - the right moment. In some cases, the ideal place is the bed, though sometimes her emotional situation just yet complicates communication.

In the bed is safe to say pleasant, but if you intend to raise less than optimistic feelings, try to talk about them before the act (act differently and may not be) and not immediately after (as in the phase of resolution, following the orgasm, the majority Men have an insurmountable urge to sleep).

Many couples practice talking about sex during sex, but to call these replicas can not even be a full-fledged conversation with a very big stretch. They certainly contribute to the optimization process, but they are not enough.
If you have no way to determine where and when to begin, the sooner you simply diverts the conversation. If you start talking, but your partner says, "is not the time" (perhaps now he is really uncomfortable talking about it, but he may be shy as shy and you) - politely (and gently!) Ask explain the reason for the refusal to make an appointment when you return to this subject.

Do not expect a partner for such an important matter immediately changed his plans and will meet you at once: a delicate conversation to organically integrate into everyday life, not to break it and be dramatic. And as it may seem difficult to question, discuss it as soon as possible. Then, when such conversations will be to your usual pair, the choice of time and space cease to be a particular problem. If it is very difficult to start ...
Confusion in the conversation "about this" first completely natural. Do not try to hide it, especially under the alluvial bravado or external self-confidence - so you can spoil everything for a long time. Better to recognize the partner that you are at a loss what to say to you about this difficult, but you understand that it is very important to both of you, and hope that the partner will support you.

Do not shun art erotic editions - reviews, books, movies. They are, contrary to popular misconception, not to teach "do it right (" right "- is all that is like both), but in order to help you get rid of unnecessary embarrassment and irrational taboos. With the help of such publications is very convenient to begin a difficult conversation.

For example, the arm photo album or movie that you liked more than others (or give it to her husband at any nearest holiday), and without further ado, say: "I've been thinking ... and why, actually, we do not talk to you about sex? It is such a wonderful lesson. I want you here something to show ... " Do not be afraid that he would ask awkward questions or you need to give some complicated explanation of his act: sex between loving people is valuable, it needs no justification. Moreover, sometimes such a "horse course" is probably the only way to break a dam shame - careful preparation can be delayed so that the start of "new life" will become delayed and delayed, because you would think that some of you to Innovation is not ready.

To engage in conversation, do not ask for words from a partner and ask him to listen carefully to you. This will help him get rid of the feeling that it to something forced.
It is necessary to induce him to talk, but can not compel. A wise woman knows how to reveal his soul and to share feelings, not insisting that her lover did the same thing.

If your partner is sandwiched and bound, help him: first, tell us about their feelings (for the first time - on the positive and soon, when you both are comfortable with this theme, say can and must be about the whole spectrum of experiences), then gently ask that he experienced . Must Hear him, but do not insist on a detailed answer: "Yes - no - I do not know" - enough to start.

If your partner is laconic, from time to time try to be quiet and you: "active" and "passive" role should rotate - not only in bed, but also in speech communication.

Emphasize that are important to you his wishes (and it should not be hypocrisy, but they really should be important to you). They, incidentally, may be very different from yours, but it has to have the same right as you are - on their own. Partners to take into account your interests, you should consider it - other ways of achieving intimacy in a pair of no. Little by little, and a partner will open to meet you, feeling that you accept him for what he is. In sexual relations more than any other, is important for reciprocity - is crucial principle "and I feel good, and you feel good."
If you initiate and enter into the habit of discussing their intimate relationships simple human language, your partner will certainly be grateful. But it is also likely at first he will feel embarrassed. Perhaps even the first conversation was not very successful. Do not get discouraged and give up. Sometimes the most intimate feelings of women include men need some time to move away.

If so happens, you just need to wait some time until he mastered with such intimacy. The moment when both partners overcome their embarrassment, often feels like a breakthrough - once becomes easier.